Utterly Random

Lots of random thougths cross my mind each day ... usually the thoughts aren't worthy of a blog post in and of themselves.  The jury is still out whether they're worthy of a blog post all lumped together, but let's give it a try.

• It always catches me off guard when folks ask me how much weight I've lost.  I say that because I've not ceased to be humbled by the many expressions of genuine care and interest in my life -- it means more than I can adequately express.  However, while I don't mind talking about my weight -- and I say this with all possible due respect -- asking about what size pants I wear is a little odd!  :)
• A week ago, perhaps in a moment of sheer dilerious longing for spring, I bought a fleece vest.  I imagined wearing it on those brisk mornings where an extra layer would be nice, and easy enough to shed in the warmer afternoon.  Once upon a time, a 40 degree day would not feel cold to me.  Now, I wear the vest indoors all day.  It adds a bit of bulk underneath the old winter coat that's far too big, in order to keep the wind from whipping up from underneath.  Having been warm-natured my whole life, this sudden change in my internal thermostat may be the oddest discovery to date.  I'm grateful for the drawstring of all my way-too-big old flannel pajama pants -- my default wardrobe choice at home.
• Ridding my closet of shirts, slacks, and suits that are far too big to ever consider wearing was more difficult than I ever imagined.  I'm grateful Molly and my mother-in-law were able to see around a corner I hadn't -- ridding the closets of summerwear, and from a conversation they had my mother-in-law came up with a plan to transform my short-sleeve Hawaiian shirt collection into a quilt.  I'm curious what my new style will become this summer -- because unlike a few leftover long-sleeve shirts I found in the back of the closet from years gone by, I don't own a single work-appropriate short-sleeve shirt that fits. 
• Old patterns are tough to break.  My whole life, my stomach has deceived my eyes into eating too-big portions.  And now, my eyes deceive my stomach:  no matter how small the portion I put on my plate, it's too much.  You'd think I'd learn, but each time I make the same mistake.  On a related note:  I'm ready for some creative farmer to figure out how to market half an egg.
• I had surgery six weeks ago.  Reality is, I had more energy six days after surgery than I do now.  The first week after surgery, I walked 80,000 in six days as part of an employer/health insurance health challenge.  That seems insurmountable now.  I'm not certain why that is.  The nutritionist at the bariatric center says this fatigue isn't unusual, that this is the body's reaction to this "medically-induced starvation".  She also says typically surgery patients experience a surge of energy at three months post-op.  I'm praying she's right.  I can't wait. 
• As my body adjusts to carrying less weight, regular visits with the chiropractor have been essential.  The chiropractor strongly urges me to consider massage -- something I've never pursued mostly because of my self-consciousness caused by several fatty tumor-like deposits on my back that I've had as long as I can remember.  After an adjustment a couple weeks ago, he noticed that all the lypomas are gone!  Our best guess is this is an added benefit of the liquid diet-purge of fat stored in the liver.  Now all I have to do is compete with Molly for the next splurge on a massage!
• I continue to progress through the reintroduction of food.  This next week is the biggest and most varied week so far -- reintroducing chicken, pasta, tomato sauce, bread, raw veggies, beans, rice, and nuts.  It's weird what I've missed food-wise and what I have not.  My greatest cravings have consistently been for tortilla chips (and queso dip), blueberry muffins, and cucumber -- not necessarily hoping to remedy this craving in the same sitting.  Oh, and popcorn.  Good grief, I miss ordinary air-popped popcorn.  I get it back in a couple weeks.  Can't wait.

Every day it gets better, a little easier, and more familiar.  I can't wait for summertime fresh foods and opportunities to be more active.  While I have no particular ultimate destination in mind nor a timeline of when I expect to get there, I have reason to hope I will have lost most of my excess weight by the end of the summer.  No, this hasn't stopped feeling surreal.